http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ No longer a diagnosis of exclusion en Thu, 29 Jul 2010 18:37:22 +0000 http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=86#post-443 Mon, 14 Jun 2010 00:14:40 +0000 boB 443@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>The diagnosis is done by a psychiatrist, you will be asked questions and they will use the answers you give to give you a diagnosis.</p> <p>this site is dead ... try here insted</p> <p><a href="http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/index.php" rel="nofollow">http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/index.php</a> </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=86#post-442 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 22:06:54 +0000 freedom 442@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Well where do I even begin…. Firstly I’ll start by apologising if this rambling is hard to follow I know my English is pretty poor! </p> <p>A while back I came across stuff on personality disorders when I was looking on the net for depression and I thought s--- this sounds a lot like me maybe this could explain why I keep having bouts of depression and generally making a mess of my life! </p> <p>I finally plucked up the courage to do the test and it came out extremely high for borderline amongst other things…so where do I go from here!? I am already under the care of my GP and a crisis team (who discharged me yesterday) and have been diagnosed with depression. They’ve given me some mitazipine (which I resentfully take!) and I have been told to contact my local uni to start up some CBT. I have been very sparse with the truth of how I really feel… I guess out of fear mainly..its like every time I have to speak to them something kicks in and I lie and tell them what they wanna hear. Besides I’m not sure I could look a person in the face and tell them that ‘recently whilst reflecting upon my life and the way I have behaved I have concluded that I could be evil, a demon or even related to the devil’(that actually makes me laugh now!) or wish the people who cared for me weren’t alive so I could kill myself without upsetting them. </p> <p>My fears are:<br /> 1.Being on meds - I hate western/modern medicine and this pill popping culture we live in!<br /> 2.Being locked up in a psychiatric hospital.<br /> 3.Both of the above!<br /> Or<br /> 4.Becoming one of those weird loners who lost their former glory, who people look at and think wtf happened to her!!</p> <p>The way things are going any of those could soon become true.. its almost like some hideous self fulfilling prophecy and then it blows my tiny little mind and I think is this a medical, religious, spiritual or something that no one on this earth can comprehend! Erghhh!!</p> <p>It wasn’t so long ago I had a ’normal’ life, it wasn’t great but it wasn’t bad either. I was an attractive girl, I was working, had a casual relationship, a good social life, spending my money, I had my hobbies my interest; I was out there in the world - living I guess! Then something started to give I started to get stressed, I couldn’t cope.. had to get off and make it all stop! So for the last 11 weeks I’ve been signed off work by the doctor barely leaving my house or speaking to anyone, slowly loosing touch with reality. At first I was hardly eating but now I am bingeing on crap and my weight is slowly creeping up. I have also been obsessively picking at my skin to the point where I can spend hours doing nothing else. My behaviour is incredibly self destructive as I already have massive issues about the way I look and how people perceive me…its like I’m set on destroying myself! I look like an absolute bag of s---! I can’t imagine going back to how I was before I feel embarrassed and ashamed, even having a shower feels like an alien/pointless task to me now. </p> <p>I have thought about killing myself again many times (I took an overdose and failed last year) but I don’t wanna hurt my family. I already feel anger and resentment toward them for my crappy genetics and their misgiving’s as parents which could’ve made me like this and this makes me feel so guilty like I am a terrible horrible monster cos I know they are the only ones who truly care about me. Living is hurting me though, life feels like a slow painful death at the moment..it really does already feel like it’s the beginning of the end for me - like this is my demise! I just don’t wanna be me anymore, I feel I’ve messed up one too many times….is there any hope?!!! </p> <p>if I did go and speak to someone how would they actually go about diagnosing me? </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=73#post-441 Tue, 18 May 2010 20:24:55 +0000 Nora 441@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Thanks for all your replies. Really helpful. Now re-diagnosed with Cyclothymia so going to try different approach with mood diaries etc. Don't want to take meds so just trying to hold it together with out. Sounds like you really got something out ot the group therapy, ngcjasp - I might give it another go one day but for now I'm giving it a miss. Good luck all! </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=85#post-440 Wed, 12 May 2010 20:26:22 +0000 JB 440@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>I am suffering from mild BPD - no need for anyone to pay any attention as I probably do a half decent job of hiding it. On the outside my life must seem normal (two kids, lovely partner and house, friends, great career, talented, athletic). However, my moods are pretty violent and sometimes I am crippled with depression with the effort of 24 hours a day, seven days a week pretence.</p> <p>I am wondering if private therapy would be of much benefit (although Mentalization Based Treatment looks very promising) but have the added problem of being from the far South West of England where there doesn't seem to be anyone specialising in therapy specifically for the BPD.</p> <p>Does ANYONE know ANYONE or SOMEONE who may know ANYONE who practices private therapy specifically for BPD in the South West of England.</p> <p>Thanks </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=81#post-439 Wed, 12 May 2010 20:21:58 +0000 JB 439@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Hi Joku</p> <p>It is a shame you got no responses to this post. It would have been interesting to see other people's comments. </p> <p>I am also suffering from mild BPD - no need for anyone to take any attention as I probably do a half decent job of hiding it. On the outside my life must seem normal (two kids, lovely partner and house, friends, great career, talented, athletic). However, like you, my moods are pretty violent and sometimes I am crippled with depression with the effort of 24 hours a day, seven days a week pretence.</p> <p>I am also wondering if private therapy would be of much benefit (although Mentalization Based Treatment looks very promising) but have the added problem of being from the far South West of England where there doesn't seem to be anyone specialising in therapy specifically for the BPD.</p> <p>I will post this on a separate thread in the hope of some help. Hopefully, between us, we will find some answers. In the meantime, good luck with your search.</p> <p>J<br /> x </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=81#post-438 Wed, 12 May 2010 20:21:24 +0000 JB 438@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Hi Joku</p> <p>It is a shame you got no responses to this post. It would have been interesting to see other people's comments. </p> <p>I am also suffering from mild BPD - no need for anyone to take any attention as I probably do a half decent job of hiding it. On the outside my life must seem normal (two kids, lovely partner and house, friends, great career, talented, athletic). However, like you, my moods are pretty violent and sometimes I am crippled with depression with the effort of 24 hours a day, seven days a week pretence.</p> <p>I am also wondering if private therapy would be of much benefit (although Mentalization Based Treatment looks very promising) but have the added problem of being from the far South West of England where there doesn't seem to be anyone specialising in therapy specifically for the BPD.</p> <p>I will post this on a separate thread in the hope of some help. Hopefully, between us, we will find some answers. In the meantime, good luck with your search.</p> <p>J<br /> x </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=82#post-437 Mon, 10 May 2010 17:16:15 +0000 ngcjasp 437@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>As hard as it is to see a friend in such turmoil you cannot fix things with all the will in the world.</p> <p>Until she is willing to even accept that there could possibly be truth in what you are trying to get her to see then you would probably get more from banging your head against a brick wall.</p> <p>No-one can be helped unless they are ready not when everyone else is ready. You do have a good point about identity theft and it sounds as if its only a matter of time before this becomes a major issue if not a criminal offence.</p> <p>I really feel for you but sometimes we need to distance ourselves for both our own mental health and that of those we care for.</p> <p>Best wishes </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=84#post-436 Tue, 04 May 2010 16:39:05 +0000 assistantpsych1 436@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Hey guys,</p> <p>I have come accross 2 books in particular that I would recommened to anyone diagnosed with Borderline PD or family/friends/carers and therpists. </p> <p>The first book is 'Borderline Personality Disorder for Dummies' by Charles H. Elliott which you can buy for around £8/9 from amzazon. Its easy to understand and avoids using too much psycho-jargon. </p> <p>The second book is 'The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook'(New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley. This book would be ideal for those diagnosed with BPD wishing to engage in self help therapy, it would also be useful to therapists to structure groups/one-to-one sessions in DBT. </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=83#post-435 Mon, 03 May 2010 16:25:25 +0000 lex 435@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>I would quite appreciate some advice from you guys - the last few days I have been really struggling &amp; i've no idea what to do </p> <p>I have regularly been told through life that i'm depressed, it took a long while but I did eventually spoke to a doctor &amp; got sent to a psychologist. It was a nightmare. My mum had come with me for support &amp; it turned out that the psychologist had a daughter at the school my sister &amp; i had been at, where my mum helped out occasionally &amp; this guy recognised my mum and spent the first 15 minutes talking to her in the reception. It was totally awkward &amp; unprofessional but it didn't stop there. When we eventually went in to his room he just seemed to want to chat about my school, his response to any of my problems or concerns was that I was doing it for attention or that I was making it up. </p> <p>Surprisingly I didn't go back. I have since moved away &amp; things did get better. But I never felt comfortable with the idea that it was just depression. I constantly feel like I am a disaster when it comes to my relationships with other people - I am constantly paranoid that people don't like me, that they talk about me behind my back or lie about what they think about me. I get incredibly anxious about all this most of the time. Then the polar opposite happens and I find every little thing people do around me just makes me want to scream and shout and I want to just go away and hide from them all. I get randomly angry at the smallest tiniest things, I feel like if people do or don't do certain things (like if i invite them out &amp; they can't come) that they're doing it deliberately to hurt/upset me.... A lot of the time at the mo I have to do little simple things, like tidying, and I just cannot be bothered, I have no energy for it, so I just leave it. I have in the past self harmed but haven't in a long while (think about it alot tho) - now I just binge eat any time I feel upset, lonely, stressed - which makes me feel worse because I feel fat and unhealthy... </p> <p>I have recently begun a relationship with an amazing girl (who i totally do not feel worthy to have) &amp; I now feel terrified that I will do something or say something or that she will just realise that I'm some sort of freak... I have in the past been left by someone who thought I was too depressed and didn't want to have to deal with it. </p> <p>I have read about bpd &amp; when i read the diagnosis checklist I recognise so much of it in myself. But I have no faith in GPs and the whole medical system - I especially do not want to just be told i'm depressed &amp; pack off with some pills. I want to do something but I don't know what... </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=32#post-434 Wed, 28 Apr 2010 11:36:37 +0000 strengthinumberz 434@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>just reading the posts from every angle .. is giving me strength..thanx all x bev mum of son with dual diagnosis antisocial p.d and schiziod effective mental illness....<br /> ..my troubled boy<br /> back in hospital yest... i feel soo sick .. no sleep 4 eva... life always on hold.. and never my own..waiting for the tight ball in middle of my chest to erupt into a panick attack lol.. gudays...<br /> social workers,suppost workers,psychiatrist,cto,care plan...wot to do with a boy like ...cant complain..took a long time comming..</p> <p>aaaaaaargh.. keep walking down this road and im surely bound to find a great place ..eternal optimist tis me </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=82#post-433 Tue, 27 Apr 2010 16:40:18 +0000 sclurgess 433@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>I need to find out who can help and how they can help me in getting help for a friend of mine. The problem being that she has created 15 people that i know that all have email addresses and facebook and yearbook accounts. she has taken other peoples pictures and used them on these accounts to make them seem real. from what i can make out she is using all these "people" to get attention and sympathy and to convince people that she has babies. In doing so obviously alot of people are getting hurt in the process and the fact identity theft is highly illegal!! I know she desperately needs help with this but she wont admit she has a problem even though i have presented her with all the proof that she has, therefore she wont seek help herself :(. Every turn i take i seem to hit a dead end and im really at a loss as to what i can do next? </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=81#post-432 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 22:52:32 +0000 Joku 432@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Hi. Many times in my life different people have said that I have BPD. Haven't wanted to accept it because from my degree in psychology I came to the conviction that PDs don't really exist, or if they do pretty much everyone has one!! Anyway, now I've heard it from so many people and the description matches my 'symptoms' that I thought maybe I should finally find out more about it. My case is probably very mild and am generally happy with my life. Main problems are endless mood swings which I've learned to hide well but means I can't really be myself, some risk-taking, some problems with relationships, difficulty doing boring tasks e.g. paying bills/tidying up (costs me a fortune when every bill is late!). Am wondering how much would it help to go to therapy? Can it help with the mood swings for example? Has anyone got experiences and can you tell me what good did you get out of counselling? Was thinking of going the private route (don't know how to afford though!!!) because I know there are more deserving people who should get free help. (Plus don't like my GP.) What's the best way of finding a good therapist? Thanks! </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=63#post-431 Fri, 23 Apr 2010 18:09:58 +0000 stuckinarut 431@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>hi my name is shane i think i have sever personality disorder but dont know i have a mental health team but all they do is put me on different meds and none of them seem to work i feel like they dont understand a word i say or dont believe me i really want to get this sorted as i have 2 great kids with a beautful wife and another baby on the way my biggets scare loosing them but find it so easy to push them away its so hard to have a balanced life one min i am fine next i want to rip someones head of everything and everyone except my family annoy me cause it feels like i cant interact with them i have to be a different person with different people all the time to put it bluntly i need some help proper help not just meds someone that understand s what i am saying and how i feel and why i do things a big ask i know but thats all i got left so if there is anyone out there that cant help or point me in the right direction then please contact me on my email which is <a href="mailto:myfinboy666@hotmail.co.uk">myfinboy666@hotmail.co.uk</a> thanks for taking the time to read this. shane </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=63#post-430 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 21:42:45 +0000 gettingbetter 430@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>I have got help but not from the NHS. </p> <p>A friend of mine is training to be a psychotherapist and is also a recovered BPD. She was telling me about her lead trainer who is a specialist in PD and was highly intuative, he was able to energetically work out what people were thinking and doing. And that really ticked my box. So I sought him out. He is not particularly cheap at £80 per session, but you get what you pay for. </p> <p>Given when unchecked you could be spending money on binge drinking/drug taking, shopping, over eating and all manor of other things, I decided it was worth it. </p> <p>He has been incredible and I have made massive progress. </p> <p>I am a great believer that you get what you pay for and that you get value from what you pay for too. Sometimes getting things cheap or worse free, you just don't get as much out of it. I know those on the NHS do pay for it through taxes but its not quite the same. </p> <p>It took me a while to build a relationship with him, I was a bit ambivalent to start off with, but that is normal. One time he didn't turn up to an appointment over a confusion with confirmations. I took the morning off work and he was not there. I called him several times and he did not answer and then text me to say he was not there and I went into a bit of a rage and sent him quite a stroppy email. But we dealt with that next session and after that its been plain sailing. </p> <p>I also saw a healer and that really helped to start the grieving process off, I have always been in two minds as to whether I believe in all that energy chanels and chakra's thing but whatever she did it bought alot of grief up and I felt much freer after. </p> <p>I would really recommend psychotherapy. Normally therapy is not very confrontational but I really needed someone to push me over the edge and he did that. He is also very aware of my boundaries and is very sensitive not to push me to places I am not ready to go to. </p> <p>This is a condition you will not sort out on your own or reading books in my view. </p> <p>Belive me, I have tried and i have read Mans search for meaning, beautiful though it was in its own tragic way it didn't heal my PD symptoms. </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=74#post-429 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 17:40:30 +0000 gettingbetter 429@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>It can be, its not a conclusive diagnosis. Reading through the diagnosis does cause some issues for people, who likes a label, especially a negative one!? For me it was great because I could finally be understood and understand myself. I also felt vindicated and able to griev for the pain I had endured. </p> <p>I have always been a day dreamer. Some people would put that down to my star sign. </p> <p>It can be a way of dissociating yourself from something you find difficult or want to avoid. As a child daydreaming might be a way of trying to avoid the harsh realities of a neglectful environment in which you're unhappy for example. </p> <p>It would be interesting to know if you have any feelings or thoughts before you go into yourself and your own imagination, are there any particular triggers might be interesting to explore. If you can identify the function of the behaviour, what benefits going into your imagination offer, ie. avoidance, safety etc. </p> <p>Socialising for example could be a phobia and daydreaming away of avoiding the fear of social interactions. </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=76#post-428 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 17:20:33 +0000 gettingbetter 428@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>There is lots of help out there for you. Despite how bad you feel right now, and the considerable emotional pain you have clearly been enduring, along with the abandonment you feel from your family, you still have some place in you that wants to heal and get better. </p> <p>That is a good thing. It means despite wounds that you may have, you still have some hope somewhere in your heart. Even if its only a little tiny candle light of hope flickering in the background, its a miracle and shows how strong and brave you are to have gone through what you have been and still been able to keep that light going all this time. Acknowledge yourself for that!</p> <p>The first thing you need to do is decide you want to get better and then find someone experienced and trained to help you. Once you find the right person you need to commit to doing it even through the ups and downs is my advice. </p> <p>I found a psychotherapist the most helpful, as holding down relationships has always been the hardest thing for me to deal with and psychotherapy is about building a relationship with your therapist and working through it with them. </p> <p>Have a read of this website and look at the different types of help available, you can always google each one and find out more about it and see which one you think you could work with best. </p> <p>Then I would seek one out and ask them if they have experience at working with BDP. You might be able to do this through your doctor or you might want to do it privatley. I did the latter because I found someone who is an expert in the field and decided I'd invest in myself by seeing him. </p> <p><a href="http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_conditions/borderline_personality_disorder" rel="nofollow">http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_conditions/borderline_personality_disorder</a></p> <p>You might also want to read this book, I spoke about in another thread: </p> <p><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lost-Mirror-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/0878332669" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lost-Mirror-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/0878332669</a> </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=79#post-427 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 17:09:52 +0000 gettingbetter 427@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>I think its because lots of the traits of BPD can be negative and destructive, and we project them onto other people. Often replying the unresolved wounds of childhood out on friends, family, partners and work colleagues. </p> <p>Whilst it is very difficult and painful to be the sufferer, it can also be difficult for the people around you who are at the effect of negative behaviour. The hurt tend to hurt. Victims bcome the bullies in effect. </p> <p>Whilst examination shows deep trauma underpinning this behaviour which as a sufferer I know is a very unhappy place to be, I can also appreciate its not nice to be on the end of it either. Be it anger, rage, arguments, manipulation, ambivalence etc</p> <p>Part of being a BDP is to have a very strong sensitivity to rejection and abandomment, and a sense of being judged. </p> <p>Giving you the diagnosis of BDP wasnt' done to give you more evidence to allow the above emotions and impulses to take over but rather for you to know what you're dealing with and what you need to tackle in order to heal the wounds that caused it in the first place. </p> <p>Try not to take peoples perception and prejudices personally and focus on what you need to do to unearth your own process and splitting, most importantly a strategy to move to a healthier place where you can be happy and enjoy relationships. </p> <p>Best, GB </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=67#post-426 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 17:04:48 +0000 gettingbetter 426@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Depression and anxiety are quite often symptoms of some thing rather than an illness of themselves. </p> <p>There is some contravercy of that idea as it would seems some people are more biologically prown to depression and anxiety than others, although there is little conclusive evidence about that yet. </p> <p>One of the aspects of BDP is not being able to regulate mood and swining from several different moods.</p> <p>Have a look on here, some of the sound bits from suffers maybe something you can identify with: </p> <p><a href="http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_conditions/borderline_personality_disorder" rel="nofollow">http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_conditions/borderline_personality_disorder</a></p> <p>You're going to find it very difficult to find people to talk to who have not had the diagnosis and have some insight, its a complete thing. It can be heavy stuff and most people, whilst well meaning will not be able to give you good feedback or advice. </p> <p>It has only been with a therapist who is an expert at BDP, who has been able to pace my reality and create a safe environment in which I could allow all the different parts of my personality to be heard and acknowledged, the good, the bad and the ugly. </p> <p>As you allow these feelings to be expressed as painful as they maybe, they tend to subside and become less engulfing. </p> <p>Hope that helps. GB </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=80#post-425 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 15:46:11 +0000 gettingbetter 425@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Hi Folks, </p> <p>I just joined. I have been in therapy since Summer last year (although I have tried lots before and been medicated by my doctor and myself both equally in effectively over the years). </p> <p>I found a psychotherapist who basically worked me out the second I walked in the room and finally showed me what I have spent a life time trying to work out. That my wounds are real and they are in fact part of BPD. I can't really explain what happens in therapy but slowly and surely the suppressed memories and emotions have been coming up. And whilst this can be highly upsetting and painful at times, I can sense its healthy and healing to allow it to be felt. I have found this modality of therapy to be highly effective in a very short space of time, I have come a very long way and I can recommend it. </p> <p>I live alone and have withdrawn from friends and relationships quite a bit, so it can be a very lonley process but I feel that I need to do that in order to learn to be with these emotions and allow them to have a space to be acknowledge and accepted. That combined with a fear of being rejected if I expose the reality of my existence to anyone. </p> <p>I just wanted to give a bit of an intro before recommending a book, lost in the mirror by Richard Mozkovitz. It gets mixed reviews on amazon, but then its for BPD so peopel are either going to love or hate it. :) </p> <p>I have been very upset reading it, again in a good way to have someone explain my experience so accurately and to hear of others has been quite beautiful if a little harrowing in places. Some of the stories of others experience equally and sometimes much more traumatic than my own made me feel very sad for them and in turn helped me to grieve for myself. </p> <p>If you're confused about PD and how it affects you, or simply want to learn more about it, I think you'll get some good insights from this book. </p> <p>All the best, </p> <p>GB </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=73#post-424 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 15:35:07 +0000 gettingbetter 424@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>I have been considering group therapy too, but I must say it fills me with dread on several levels. </p> <p>From what I understand the benefit is that, as a PD you'll be highly perceptive and in tune with others delusions and patterns which effect their relationships outside and inside the group. Often you're able to see very accurately in others that which you are blind to in yourself. And by helping and suporting each other them see their own patterns you start to have more clarity on your own. Plus the other people obviously give you the same insight. </p> <p>I think I find the thought of 'sharing' my foybles and hang ups in public uncomfortable in a very uptight British way. And I sort of slightly reject that I have to go and do such things in the first place. Plus a sense of social phobia in being in such a group and revealing such vulnerability dangerous. </p> <p>I'd also want to know the facilitator is very good at what they do, I am conscious from previous experiences at 'seminar's' that group things can do more harm that damage to the vulnerable. </p> <p>However, I can see that because of that sense of fear and judgment towards myself and others, its' probably going to be quite healthy and therapeutic for me to go there. </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=78#post-423 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 15:27:14 +0000 gettingbetter 423@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Hi FM, </p> <p>Who told you that? Was it a professional? In what context? </p> <p>I can't imagine anyone is 'unsuitable' for therapy, it could be that a particular type of therapy was not suited to you. </p> <p>If social interactions and relationships are difficult for you then psychotherapy could be a good route as that is largely based on the relationship you have with your therapist. </p> <p>I would say everyone is fully able to heal with the right help and support. </p> <p>Hope that helps, all the best, GB </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=79#post-422 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 14:06:22 +0000 firemonkey 422@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Why do people with personality disorders get a bad name even on quite a few mental health forums?<br /> Even people with other mental illnesses can be prejudiced against us so is it any wonder that society as a whole often sees us in a dismissive and negative light</p> <p>Posted re being unsuitable for therapy on another forum and was greeted by this hurtful comment<br /> "Personality Disordered people are to busy using people as objects." </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=78#post-421 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 10:03:00 +0000 firemonkey 421@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Hello,<br /> I have been diagnosed with PD Nos since 2005 after many years of being dxed with schizophrenia then schizoaffective disorder/occasionally bipolar.<br /> I am seen as having long term problems with thinking and behaviour including anxiety/depression/paranoid thinking/mood swings/isolation/lack of confidence and self esteem. My most chronic problem centres round difficulties with social interaction.</p> <p>What i would like to know is how one deals with the negative effects of a PD when one has been told one is unsuitable for therapy. </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=73#post-420 Sat, 17 Apr 2010 18:41:54 +0000 boB 420@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Did you find a way round that "PD's" cant give up having a personlity disorder that contributes to there behavyoural probs ... </p> <p>Alchoholics can give up alchohol ... MH has to be treated and managed .. and although I am for peer support .. it does have limitaions .. </p> <p>.. the bottom line is we need effective back bone of help and support provided for by the CMHTs , that we can rely on and and have defined , no on an ad hock asssessment basis </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=77#post-419 Sat, 17 Apr 2010 18:36:32 +0000 boB 419@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>I dont come here much any more ,.. its a grave yard I have a blog on another forum ....</p> <p><a href="http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/index.php" rel="nofollow">http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/index.php</a></p> <p>if you want to read it you have to register first ...<br /> the link to my blog is <a href="http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/showthread.php?t=7026" rel="nofollow">http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/showthread.php?t=7026</a></p> <p>........ </p> <p>so the short version .... I have gottern worse ....</p> <p>... I have had a few goes with the crisis team .. even a GP referal ...<br /> They have told me severel things between them ,....</p> <p>They will "not" help me is the main thing .....</p> <p>things they have said ....</p> <p>They dont care is I self harm ... as long as its not a suiside attemp .. not there problem<br /> They dont care if I am a danger to others ... that is a police matter , and not there problem ..<br /> I was made false offers of help .. only not to follow though , when I asked if she though that was ok she said "yes .. what ever it takes"</p> <p>I have been told that because I now have medical problems , that "in there (CT cpn's) opinion" I am not MH ill, just sick ... and on the same occasion .. that that my MH problems are long term and not there problem .... , and cos I was having a problem with the frustrasion casued "By" the MH services .. they offered to refer me for anger managmnet ....</p> <p>ATM I have a housing support worker .. who cannot get me rehoused ... and turns up most weeks to say he has nothing to offer me ... or a form to sign ... </p> <p>and no other support ... not a cpn ... not a social worker .. nothing ...</p> <p>I have been waiting to see a psychologyst for 6 mounths after waithing 2 mounths for an assessment ... (total 8 mounths) so far and I stil dont have a date for an appointment .... I got that assement 11 mounths after a botched assessment by a cpn .. who messed up my care plan for a year ...</p> <p>I tired to give up street drugs and when I asked for help in couping with the MH issuses I have that cause me to use them the services said "no" ... so I now have to use again..... this they say is "my choice" ... my choice is be a compleate wreck .. or mostley a wreck ... I have no meds other than zopiclone ( a sleeper that can only be used occationaly)</p> <p>... so in that time I have started self harming again , and I now just want it to end , and for me to die ....... thank you all the MH services in my area ....</p> <p>.. if they had spent as much time helping me as they have assessing me , I would not be in this possision ...</p> <p>I have been bad today ... I had a terible nightmare .. I have wanted to cut all day .. and I will be alone now til next week ... and I will get no help ...<br /> I have 'even' considered calling the crisis team .. they will just fob me off or mess me around or just plain refuse to help me .. I have nobody in my life to turn to in my area for help ... </p> <p>.................................... I am better off dead .. </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=75#post-418 Tue, 13 Apr 2010 01:08:33 +0000 milly 418@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Hi you can go to the GP and asked to be referred to the community mental health team. That way you will be assessed and be given support in getting back on your feet again. There are self help groups now and not any support groups as such.<br /> If you have any worries get yourslef a very good GP who will help you as best they can.<br /> I hope you are okay and find something </p> <p>good luck x </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=67#post-417 Tue, 13 Apr 2010 00:47:55 +0000 milly 417@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>The best forum I have found specifically for PD's is </p> <p><a href="http://www.mentalhealth-world.org.uk/forums/index.php?/index" rel="nofollow">http://www.mentalhealth-world.org.uk/forums/index.php?/index</a></p> <p>I have found out so much about myself on this forum . </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=53#post-416 Wed, 07 Apr 2010 23:33:17 +0000 sheena 416@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Hello. Well it has been awhile since i have been on this support network. The outcome and solution at this moment in time is jack has spent the last few months in prison. I have fought in court and also been supported by Rethink and Jack is now going to be transfered to a medium secure hospital. His health deteriorated while in prison. I'm feeling more positive about mine and jack situation. I only hope Jack gets the best treatment to turn his life around.</p> <p>Rethink have been so supportive and i have joined their activist group. I am going to London shortly to sit on Lord Bradley's criminal justice panel. I have really grown mentally and spiritually through this very difficult challenge. I would advice anyone to stay positive and never give up on what you truly believe in. A few months ago my life seemed so dark and fearfully and now it's daylight and the road ahead looks shining. Thank you everyone for their support on the difficult challenge i was facing.</p> <p>Godbless you all </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=73#post-415 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 19:33:29 +0000 river 415@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>.......... well, in AA and all those anonymous groups its peer group healing. I think that with a little bit of extra studying we could apply the same model to PDs. Mostly its some level of disorder that underlies addictions anyway, I'd say. </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=76#post-414 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 19:30:25 +0000 river 414@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>I know the feeling! Its c--p huh?<br /> You definately need some response, but in a healing way. </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=48#post-413 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 19:26:01 +0000 river 413@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Hi katiemae,<br /> You're welcome to pm me if you like. Just checked your profile, how did you find us!? </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=48#post-412 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 04:10:31 +0000 katiemae48 412@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>I feel the world is self-absorbed, noone really gives a shit about anyone else, I reach out and all you get is small talk, meaningless, boring, crap, if you try to express your emotions to any degree, you are suddenly a downer, a depressed person, and person to avoid at all cost, and what I really feel is everyone needs at least one good friend, who will listen and not judge, to find solutions, stay dedicated to a cause together, seeking relief for our pain in a screwed up, cruel, empty world. Who can you really trust? I am a nice person, but I have learned to put up walls to protect myself against the users, liers, and cheats, the sad part is I am isolated and feel more pain and misery being alone. I am on here mabe I can find a friend? I hope so it would be """nice"" </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=76#post-411 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 03:49:57 +0000 katiemae48 411@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>I am embarressed to admit to myself I am wierd. I know I must be because nobody gives a shit if I am dead or alive. Noone cares, I have to get drunk and call and plead for help, or even when I was in the nut ward a few times noone came to visit me. I have a mother, older brother and older sister, and a younger brother, and not once has one of them sat down and asked "hey how are you"? they have no real interest in getting to know me, I would be able to allow someone in if they were willing to discuss feelings or take an interest in my story, that is why I am on here, because its like I am in zoombie ville, lifeless, empty people walking around and God forbid say somthing negitive, then you get oh,it can't be all that bad, just be positive, you'll be fine, just pray, which I have done and feel I finally have found a release and escape to unload instead of drinking, drugging, having sex with anyone, cutting myself, going into a rage and tearing shit up, or just waiting for someone to say the wrong thing so I can explode, I have tried to kill myself about 10 times, at 17 I had a loaded gun to my head, and could'nt work the trigger, it was stuck and I had to ask how to unlock it and I was found out, then I tried overdosing on pills a few times, then I sliced my wrists a couple times, it was the wrong way, and tried the ankle upwards, been locked up in nut wards a few times, strapped down in leather, and jailed a few times for disorderly person, standing on a busy highway and stopping traffic to get a ride instead of hitchhiking, obsessed with things, not letting go of lost relationships, yearning for that person to come back and never excepting they are never going too. I take meds now and more or less gave up the fight to just die, I am just going to stay medicated and play video games, watch tv, play on my computer, take long walks, and eventually just die. </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=74#post-410 Fri, 02 Apr 2010 19:02:05 +0000 ngcjasp 410@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Hi Big Moe.</p> <p>The best thing you can do is to get a proper diagnosis. Are you currently under the care of your local Mental Health team?</p> <p>I personally have Complex PD and found of all the help via the NHS that the complex needs team which facilitates a Pre Therapy group (Getting Ready Group) and then an intensive 18month 3day a week Theraputic Community. </p> <p>I am now 11 months into my therapy and it is the most awful and the best thing I have ever done. Horrible in so much as delving into my past and having to re-live certain events and also admit that Ive made alot ofbad choices in life and being in the \tc is helping me look at every aspect of my life. As painful as it is the TC is the most amazing experience and it really does work.</p> <p>Best wishes<br /> NGC </p> http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/topic.php?id=32#post-409 Fri, 02 Apr 2010 18:51:44 +0000 ngcjasp 409@http://www.personalitydisorder.org.uk/discussion/ <p>Hi Sheena, Just read your post and am really surprised to hear that for your son to attend a Theraputic Community that you would have to pay privately,</p> <p>I am a member of an NHS run Theraputic Community and I know there are now quite a few round the country with more planned.</p> <p>Does your local NHS authority have a "Complex Needs" team as you can self refer to them and you do not need to be referred by you GP or other services.</p> <p>I am 39 so you are never too late to get into therapy all you need is the DESIRE to Change.</p> <p>I really hope that you mange to find the help you obviously need for both your sons well being and also for the extended fmly. Did you know that you may also be able to access a Friends and Family group which is there to offer support yo you.</p> <p>Best wishes<br /> NGC </p>